So many people ask, "Are they all yours?" or "Don't you have a television?" or "Aren't you done, yet?"
After reading Michawn's blog this morning, I wanted to post my own column on this subject.
Baby five is on her way. When we told our families this, they were not excited. Well, at least not my folks.
Most grand parents are thrilled at one or two grand children. But then came three. Everyone hoped for a girl, and that's what we got! But then came four. The questions began, and the excitement of birth seemed to wane.
Guess how everyone, at least in my family, behaved when we announced number 5.
You got that right, "Another one?"
As if it were a curse. It is an extreme shame the way people look down on large families these days. "Children are an heritage of the Lord," says the Bible. "Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them." Why would I want anything other than a full quiver?
I suppose the answer to all these questions is about trust. Do you trust God? Do I trust God? Can I really rely on him to control every aspect of my life? It involves complete surrender...something we Americans do not like at all. Surrender?! I'll go down fighting, never mind any consequences from the battles.
As Michawn states in her post today, there are two sides to this camp. Maybe more.
One says trust God in ALL things, even fertility. Do nothing to interfere with God's plan for your life.
Another says you must act responsibly with your child bearing. Only have what you can handle, and cut it off when you've had enough (usually 2, 3 at the most).
I lean toward that first group. I once said I didn't want to have any more. Especially after having toxemia with the first two. I was done. Then God changed my heart. Now, I ask you, what would I have done if I had had a tubal ligation after number 2? I would have missed out on my little girl, then another boy, then this baby girl on the way. I would have voided God's plan. I would have cancelled the blessing he had in store.
Do I know for sure I want to stop my fertility here? No I don't. I have that sense of, "I'm done," but my heart says, "What if God wants us to have more?" What if I miss the mark here? What if taking fertility into your own hands has the same effect as taking your life into your own hands?
All Christians know that we live as God leads, not as we choose. To be led, means we must be willing to consult our God and follow Him. AT. ALL. COSTS.
But how do we do that? Especially in a society that shuns large families, for the most part.
The answer is: We are not our own. We must weigh the balance of serving and trusting God, with listening to godly advice. Honestly, I don't think there is any Godly advice out there that God can't give me himself. So the real answer here is: One.
It all comes down to One.
4 comments:
Very interesting topic, isn't it? And so diverse, it's crazy.
I do know people who trust God completely. They also feel that they heard God without a doubt that they were done and were directed by Him to do something "permanent" to stop fertility for them. I totally feel like that's also an option...just having felt God say that to me yet. Will I after this baby? Maybe. Maybe I won't. We'll see.
You hit it on the head though...it's up to One. We'd all do well to leave it up to Him alone...as well as everything else in our lives. Weird how we're more prone to give Him control of some aspects but not others though.
when someone asks you if you have television....just reply, "yes, but there are always commercials"
hahaha!
Each child is a blessing and a new adventure. I know families with 7 or more kids, expecting another. Such wonderful kids and happy families.
It IS definitely a matter of TRUST. My in-laws felt the same way when we had sons number 2 and 3, believe it or not. I was 39 and 41 respectively and my husband was only working part-time. They felt it was irresponsible to risk possibly having a child with downs or medical issues. We have three healthy sons now, but had they been otherwise, I know that God would have been there in that as well and He would have provided the strength, the finances, whatever was needed. I come from a family of five children and always heard my parents glow about having a quiver-full. I feel bad for my in-laws because they miss out on the benefits that come with trusting God fully. (of course, I'm guilty plenty of times of not trusting fully, myself, in other circumstances, so this is a message to myself as well). - Wendy
Thanks, everyone for your comments.
Wendy, my parents only had two children, and they treat my kids the same way they treated us--like they are an annoyance. I wonder if my parents even ever wanted any children.
My in laws, on the other hand, are wonderful with our kids. Even after an abusive childhood for my husband, my kids have a better time with them. They had 3 kids, 2 boys and a girl. I think sometimes, though, that they treat my girls like they may have treated theirs.
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