Tonight at Bible study, Ronnie mentioned that we are lonely for each other. It just seems like we are too busy to have enough time together lately.
Ronnie's job keeps him pretty busy, we have things to do and places to go. Every week feels like an endless chore that is never done.
So, tonight. After we mentioned how this was stressful on our marriage and family, one of the other members of the group pointed out that another member was gone from his family for a month at a time. But then he is home for a month, and gone a month, and so on. (He works in off shore rigging in Africa)
Anyway, I felt like someone had belittled our situation. Like what my family is experiencing isn't as bad as it seems, and that I should just get over it. Ronnie has to work to support his family, and I should just be content with that.
WHAT!?!?!
Then I realized, maybe we are just doing too many things. I mean, I want to keep the boys in swimming lessons, but we may just have to stop so we aren't so strung out every day of the week.
I don't know.
The verse was brought up that in this world you will have trouble, and the focus was put on our having trouble in this world, but nothing said about the "I give you my peace" part.
So where is the peace? Are we missing it? Are we so busy with our "lives" that we miss the peace of God. I have really been needing His peace lately.
It's just been difficult since we moved into this little two bedroom house with four kids. We are trying to make the most of it, but it seems everytime Ronnie has chance for promotion lately, he is passed over for someone else. It, of course, doesn't seem fair, but I know God is in control.
I know God's plans are to prosper us, but I feel so trapped. I sometimes just want to run away from it all. I sometimes hate my life.
Then, the sun comes out and I see my baby raise his hands during a worship song and clap his hands. I see my child get exited about going to worship, and shout, "Praise You, Jesus!" I see my little girl say "Hallelujah!" And suddenly everything else is a blur.
In this world, you will have trouble, but I give you my peace, that where I am there you may also be.
I want to be in His presence every day, all day.
2 comments:
Hi Leah! I found you through Lucy.
It seems everywhere in life there's someone who wants to "one-up" your troubles, making you seem like a whiner. It's quite discouraging.
We were once in a church where almost half of the congregation were involved in the public school system. Wonderful people, never had a problem. Until the day I asked for prayer, as I was getting worn out with homeschooling. One of them actually said to me, "Well, if you'd put them in school where they belong, you'd have your answer to prayer."
There was a general agreement from the group. I was dumbfounded.
Your longing to spend time with your husband is real and legitimate. Praying that you get that time.
Leni
You're going to make it. Promise.
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